What if My Partner Refuses to go with Me to Couples Counseling?

Unfortunately, this is a very common problem that many of my clients struggle with. Often, one partner is ready to seek outside help and the other is hesitant. The reality of it is that you cannot force your partner to be ready to go to couple’s counseling. But, there is hope! I have begun couples counseling with one partner on many occasions.

Through my work with my clients, I have come across some helpful strategies for getting your partner involved in the counseling process. When someone feels that they need outside help for their relationship, they are usually right. Our instincts are almost always spot on, especially when it comes to our relationships. So if you feel like your relationship is in need of a tune up, go to counseling on your own.

It is possible to create significant change in the relationship with only one person coming to counseling. If you did choose to come to counseling on your own, we would discuss the relationship and develop different strategies that you could begin using in the relationship. If you learn and begin using new, more effective communication strategies with your partner, this will ultimately create a change in the daily conversation between the two of you.

As you begin to change throughout the process, your partner generally becomes curious about the changes they are noticing within you. They may start asking questions like “What do you talk about in therapy? Do you talk about me? What is it all about?” Often, your partner will then choose to at least come to a therapy session or two with you. I have found that if the person is willing to come to one or two therapy sessions, they will usually find a benefit in the sessions and will continue the counseling process.

When I meet with couple’s for the first counseling session, I always let them know right away that the quickest and most effective way to improve your relationship is to focus on changing yourself rather than changing your partner. One of the hardest parts of couple’s therapy is being willing to look at your own choices in your relationship and focus on areas that you, individually, can improve for the greater good of your relationship.

The good news is that you can start this at any time! If you are ready to take this step, call now to set up a consultation 1-888-301-7856.