30 Ways to Supercharge Your Relationships
Sometimes we are so overwhelmed with relationship advice that it feels impossible to sort through it all! If you are feeling stuck in your relationship try selecting one of the following healthy relationship tips in order to have the relationship you want. Don’t stress yourself out by trying to focus on all 30 at once! Take it slow, and make the changes last! For example, week one you may want to just focus on not giving advice.
10 Healthy Relationship Tips for a Happy, Fulfilling Relationship
- Treat your partner as if you may never see them again. Don’t hesitate to say the things that are important and make him/her feel constantly loved. Cherish every moment.
- Pick your Battles. Thinking before you speak will help you to make sure that what comes out of your mouth truly reflects what is in your heart. Doing this alone can help you avoid many relationship issues.
- Never go to bed angry! Clear up the argument before even hitting the sheets. Make-up sex just may be the perfect way to move past an argument.
- Blaming your partner never resolves anything! Take a moment to think about what your role might be in the problem before you decide to blame the other person.
- Remind your partner often of how wonderful they are. Don’t forget to specifically describe to them the things you love about them.
- Public Displays of Affection whenever possible!
- Don’t forget to say “I love you”. If you say it often, it becomes even more powerful.
- Never leave without taking a moment to kiss or hug your partner goodbye. Same thing with going to bed!
- Don’t underestimate the importance of the little things! Do small acts of kindness for your partner…bring them coffee in bed, pick up their favorite flowers, massage their feet….etc.
- Telling someone you appreciate the things they do and who they are is like magic. Do it often.
Healthy Relationship Tips: Communicate!
- Use “I Statements”- I think, I feel, I prefer. It is much harder for someone to get defensive if you speak in the first person.
- If possible, explain to your partner why you are feeling the way you feel. If you are angry, don’t just say “I am pissed off” and stomp away. Try telling your partner, “I am angry because….”I don’t feel like you are listening to me”(or whatever it may be).
- Yelling doesn’t get you anywhere! The louder you yell, the less the other person listens to you! Talk calmly and respectfully to the other person and it is much more likely they will listen to you.
- Avoid Demands- Use preferences. Ex: Instead of “You need to help me do the dishes tonight” try “I would really appreciate it if you could help me with the dishes tonight.”
- When your partner is speaking to you, give them eye contact. Think to yourself: Can you feel the difference when someone is looking at you while you are speaking to them, versus looking at the newspaper?
- When you know you partner is having a rough day, listen to them tell you about it. Avoid: Giving Advice!
- Be willing to listen to what your partner has to say. Truly listen. If you are really listening, you would be able to sum up what they said and how they feel in about two sentences when they are done speaking.
- When your partner is upset with you, try to hug and kiss them without speaking, and then talk.
- Use the Oreo method when possible! Sometimes it is difficult to tell someone that we love when we really don’t like something because we know it may hurt their feelings. One of the best ways to lessen the blow is to state several positives, then the constructive criticism, followed by more positives. Ex: “Honey, you are such an incredible husband. I really appreciate all the things you do, like taking out the trash, doing the dishes, and calling me throughout the day. I would really like it if you could kiss me goodbye in the morning before you go to work. That really helps to remind me of how wonderful you are.”
Healthy Relationship Tips: Take Action!
- Change your Daily Routine OFTEN- i.e. don’t always come home and turn on the boob tube.
- Commit to some small amount of time every day to spend together without TV and just talking to each other about the day.
- Make one positive deposit a day to one another. A deposit is something you say or do for the person you love. This can be as simple as complimenting the other person, kissing them on the forehead, etc.
- Take turns talking about your day- Try to let your partner talk for 15 minutes uninterrupted and then you take your turn.
- Validate the other persons emotions when they are talking: “I can see that made you really angry and I can understand why” or “It sounds like that was really frustrating for you”.
- Ask your partner questions- play 21 questions. Ex: What is your favorite movie, food, etc. Relationship questions are very important!
- Call your partner during the day, just to let them know you are thinking of them.
- Always call when you are going to be late!
- Date Night! So Important! Try to manage it once a week, minimally once a month. Take turns choosing the date and be willing to compromise. Ballet one week, baseball game the next. Note: Date Night DOES NOT include children.
- Write little love notes to your partner or send them something to work to remind them you are thinking of them.
- Surprise your partner without being asked! Do something nice that you know your partner doesn’t enjoy doing, i.e. taking out the trash.
Say Yes to Love,